I’ve gone deeper than I ever desired.
When God gives you a word for the year, and you decide to accept it, you never know what will happen and how you’ll stretch and grow. I could almost write a version of When You Give a Moose a Muffin based on my experience so far with the word ‘deeper.’
When I publically proclaimed that my word for the year would be deeper, I didn’t expect to have to work through my pretty prejudices and judgmental jaundice in a publically painful way.
One of the most difficult experiences I’ve gone through since my husband’s cancer has brought me to my knees multiple times over the last few months—I’ve had to pull over as I drove to sob (and I’m not a sobber—I’m more of a snot-nose, red-faced crier). But in the depths of my despair, I’ve found that God sends his people at just the right moment. A text of encouragement would pop up on my phone. A friend would call. Their words blessed me, encouraged me, and gave me the ability to continue driving, continue teaching, continue breathing.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to every hurting parent that I’ve secretly judged and lukewarmly loved. Forgive me for not coming alongside you in a consistent and brave way. Forgive me for not seeing the pain behind your smile and your, “I’m doing fine.”
God has ripped the scales off my eyes and given me a deeper understanding of what it means to be a parent, to support a parent and to show love to people who hurt. I also understand a little better God’s passionate pursuit of each and every sinner. Each one of us holds a special place in God’s heart, and when we sin or reject him, he doesn’t give up on us.
Not what I expected at all. I expected to dig deeper into my Bible from the comfort of my rocking chair whilst sipping my sinless latte (non-fat and decaf). I suppose I have dug deeper into the word, but I’m reading it more as a love story than a guidebook for proper behavior and repository for responsibilities and dos and don’ts.
Have you ever read the Bible as a love story rather than a guidebook? Click To TweetWhat about you? Did you have a word for 2015? How is God using that word to work in you and through you and teach you?
