About three years after Pedro’s stem cell transplant I finally had the courage to search online and for the survival rates for non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma with central nervous system (CNS) involvement. What I found shocked me.
The average survival rate in 2006? A mere 18 months. The statistics left me with more questions than answers. They still do. Why? Why had God miraculously healed Pedro? Why had we suffered financial setbacks and why had Pedro suffered such difficulties reentering the workforce?
This I do know. Without a doubt, God has guided each step of our journey—Pedro’s journey as a cancer survivor and now thriver; my journey as a stressed-out caregiver; our daughters’ journeys as children traumatized by a catastrophic illness in the family.
Despite my imperfect faith and my moments of doubt and self-involvement and inability to see that other people in my family suffered, too—I know God never left me. When I acted childish, he carried me close to his heart. When I needed help parenting, he gently led me. When I grew weary, he gave me courage to overcome and soar like an eagle. (Isaiah 40)
Our journeys haven’t ended, and we have no time frame or assurance that they will end in any certain way. But I know that through the good and bad, God stands close beside us—offering us peace, strength, hope, mercy and love.
He stands close to you, too. No matter where you travel or what disaster or accomplishment shoots you out into a path you never expected, know that God desires above all else for you to turn your journey over to him.
He can take your anger at unexpected circumstances or loss. He can handle your questions, your regrets and your sins. In exchange, He offers to never leave you or forsake you. (tweet this)
And that my fellow caregiver, is the greatest comfort of all. He promises to leave us with his peace. It’s not a peace that the world can understand. It’s a peace that passes all understanding. May you find Him and rest in His promise.