Despair

Day 10Hymn and Him

Take My hand, child
It feels so dark I cannot see
Hold out your heavenly hankie, Father
Wipe away my tears

If that’s not in your plan because I
Need to shed them, then
Comfort all my
Fears.

I cling to simple facts
Your Son died for me. He is risen and
Will come again
(Must my comfort wait ‘til then?)
Oh, Lord, be Thou my vision

Let me make it through the night
Can you fill this gaping hole
Tubes and beeps and shallow
Breaths
Be still my soul

Sobs shudder to a stop. Vitals
Sink like the Titanic. You’ll
Shelter me in the midst of the storm,
Lord. Rescue me from panic.

I wrote this poem during Pedro’s stay in ICU, several weeks after arriving in San Francisco.   I knew God had his hand in everything that happened, but I still had whimpers of doubt and despair despite my faith.

And that’s ok.  Jesus himself felt moments of despair (the Garden of Gethsemane).  Throughout our caregiving journeys, we have the assurance that Jesus suffered and knows our despair.  He will help us through.

As Paul says, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair.” (2 Corinthians 4:8, NIV)

God IS near.  He knows your every sigh of despair.  Hold on.  His hand reaches out to you. (tweet this)

Have you ever felt a moment of utter despair in your caregiving journey?  Share with us.

 

Anita currently teaches English to 7th-12th graders. She describes herself as a ‘recovering cancer caregiver’ who gives thanks daily that her husband has been cancer-free for ten years.

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