What Was God Thinking? {fmf}

Andrew watches the Sabbath School program from home when his white blood cell counts were too low to attend in person.

Andrew watches the Sabbath School program from home when his white blood cell counts were too low to attend in person.

First weekend back since my son’s onset of leukemia. First time teaching my cradle roll/kindergarten church kids. First time home without my boy or my husband, who was giving me time home with the girls. First time singing songs with my little darlings about a loving, amazing God while my son was hooked to tubes and machines four hours away. First time seeing the sympathetic faces of church members as I bypassed the foyer on the way to the children’s division. First time ever, where my boy wasn’t on the edge of his chair bellowing answers with the rest and singing along.

I blinked back tears and continued the program I had developed, knowing how much he loves camping and as we came to the part of the program where the kids gathered around my fake campfire to sing songs, I regretted, again, that he couldn’t be there and that God had decided our family could handle the battle with cancer. What was He thinking?

God knew my worst fear was something dreadful happening to a child of mine. And dreadful it was. Leukemia—smacked into the healthiest kid in the family. How did that happen? Truly, what was God thinking?

One of my little ones turned the “campfire rock” over to reveal the name of the next song we were to sing, “My God is so Great.” I sighed and continued my program as any good Christian teacher should do.

“My God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do!”
As we repeated the refrain and the children got louder a mist covered my eyes as my smile became real for the first time all day.

“The mountains are His, the valleys are His, the skies are His handiwork too.” And so is my boy. His.

I looked out the window at the mountains and clouds, wondering if my child was looking out his window.

“My God is so GREAT, so strong and so MIGHTY…” Yes Lord, you ARE.

And the children bellowed, “There’s nothing my God cannot do! For YOU!” and they enthusiastically pointed at me, because usually I was pointing at them.

There’s nothing my God cannot do. FOR YOU.

I’m joining the Five-Minute Friday writers over at Lisa-Jo Bakers. Today’s prompt is ‘Mighty’. Five Minute Friday

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