Relying on the God of Green Hope

…continued from yesterday. Every mother’s nightmare involves visions of their child homeless and adrift in a cruel world. While I fretted and stewed about Sarah’s safety after she disappeared that morning, she enjoyed some alone time—but her phone had died and she didn’t have a cable to charge it. When… Read more“Relying on the God of Green Hope”

Learning to Love From the Center of Who I Am

…continued from yesterday. Learning to Love From the Center of Who I Am We arrived at the crisis center in Flagstaff at the end of the day shift. The receptionist took Sarah’s information and asked us to wait for the next available counselor. I ran to Taco Bell to grab… Read more“Learning to Love From the Center of Who I Am”

Back in the Nest: A Safe Harbor for a Floundering Fledgeling

…continued from yesterday. “Come home,” Pedro said to Sarah. I grabbed my computer and started looking for one-way flights to San Francisco. God, my ever-faithful travel agent, led me to a flight that would have me in San Francisco by noon that we wouldn’t have to mortgage the house to… Read more“Back in the Nest: A Safe Harbor for a Floundering Fledgeling”

Reaching the Bottom of the Pit

…continued from yesterday. (Dear Reader–I don’t normally talk or text this way.  I apologize in advance for the colorful language you will encounter.  I left it in because it shows the depth of my frustration and, yes, anger at a situation that seemed utterly hopeless–as if Sarah wasn’t the only one… Read more“Reaching the Bottom of the Pit”

Desperately Seeking Help for an Adolescent in Crisis

…Continued from yesterday. The week Sarah and I spent together seemed like an exercise in futility. From my point of view, Sarah had entered full-blown crisis mode. From her point of view, no one could do anything to help her. From the medical/mental health point of view, Zoloft would fix… Read more“Desperately Seeking Help for an Adolescent in Crisis”

Tell Me How to Do Tough Love

Continued from yesterday… I stormed in the beach condo and slammed the door behind me. “I can’t take this anymore!” I practically yelled when Pedro looked up inquisitively. “What?” “This constant texting with Sarah and her incredibly self-involved, wallowing attitude. She needs help!” I shoved my phone across the table… Read more“Tell Me How to Do Tough Love”

Sliding Towards the Pit of Depression

…Continued from yesterday. “You received a package while you were in Argentina,” I reminded Sarah as she settled back into her room at home. “I did?” I handed her the bag. “It feels like clothes or something.” “Oh, yeah.  I ordered a bunch of clothes on line.  I don’t even… Read more“Sliding Towards the Pit of Depression”

Wait for Spring

The rain pounds down on the red, gritty earth and forms tiny rivers that push outward and seek outlet in some dry crevice. The weight of the sky hangs heavy and cold and shrouds the barren branches. The temperature drops and the rain turns to snow. A junco shivers and… Read more“Wait for Spring”

Feeling Guilty?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from cancer, it’s that guilt won’t cure it. I’ve also realized that there’s nothing like a pregnancy or a bad illness to bring out the loads of advice from well-meaning friends, family and strangers. The important thing is to understand where the guilt comes… Read more“Feeling Guilty?”

Setting My Camera on Auto

We entered the forest in a pool of light, which disappeared as the road narrowed and climbed towards the parking area three-quarters of a mile away. Redwoods shot upwards on every side, and leaned in over the road, blocking sunlight, blue sky and even sounds. The temperature outside dropped, and… Read more“Setting My Camera on Auto”