Mourn

My cell phone rang in the middle of a team parent’s meeting at Laura’s gymnastics class. Pedro’s voice sounded worse, but I wasn’t sure if it was because of his facial paralysis or because he really was worse. “I’m back in the hospital.” I breathed deeply and gripped the phone…. Read more“Mourn”

Dance

The blue sky simmered overhead and a gentle breeze twisted the golden leaves in a graceful dance. Sarah and I revved our motorcycles and headed carefully up dirt road towards Bear Creek. It was a first. The first time I’d taken the motorcycles out without Pedro. The first time Sarah… Read more“Dance”

Despair

Hymn and Him Take My hand, child It feels so dark I cannot see Hold out your heavenly hankie, Father Wipe away my tears If that’s not in your plan because I Need to shed them, then Comfort all my Fears. I cling to simple facts Your Son died for… Read more“Despair”

Faint

The doors of the hospital whooshed open and I nodded at Pedro’s intern who headed out as I headed in. She smiled and stopped to chat. “That was quite the experience last night, wasn’t it?” I nodded numbly. Pedro had started convulsing just hours after receiving his first chemotherapy treatment… Read more“Faint”

Care

I glanced anxiously at the sky as the thunderheads built up and menaced the airspace surrounding the airport.  Pedro HAD to make it on the air ambulance flight.  If he didn’t, I feared the hospital bed awaiting him at the University of California Medical Center in San Francisco (UCSF) would… Read more“Care”

Miserable Comfort

Right before my caregiving journey, I found out that a dear lady and her husband (parents of Pedro’s students) were in the midst of their own cancer journey. He had prostrate cancer—and his health and healing became a matter of daily prayer for me—even during my darkest hours. Even though… Read more“Miserable Comfort”

Abound

Dear Caregiver, I know how frightening and fragmented your life feels. Nothing remains the same as BC (before caregiving). Sure, you try to put on a strong front with those who ask how you’re doing—after all, the focus of prayers and petitions should be on the one you care for…. Read more“Abound”

God Offers Comfort in Affliction

After my experience with God’s hand on my shoulder, I returned to Pedro’s hospital room, comforted and ready to face whatever came next. A few days later, the doctor came in to announce that the chemotherapy regimen advised by Pedro’s California oncologist, Dr. Mirda, would have to be put off for… Read more“God Offers Comfort in Affliction”

God’s Unfailing Love Provides Comfort for Caregivers

What Does Unfailing Love Really Mean? Never Fails. Never Quits. Always works. Always there. Never Changes. Never wavers. That’s the kind of love you can rely on, dear Caregiver, as you journey through your season of caregiving. But sometimes, it seems as if God is distant and not interested in… Read more“God’s Unfailing Love Provides Comfort for Caregivers”

Inadequate

Inadequate. Incredibly inadequate and unable to perform the simplest tasks. That’s how I felt after the initial adrenalin rush that carried us through Pedro’s cancer diagnosis and first few rounds of treatment. The last quarter of school had progressed in a haze of lack of sleep, worry and multitasking. I… Read more“Inadequate”