I ran frantically through the house, sweat dripping down my back and my eyes wide open with that familiar gritty I’ve-spent-all-night-awake-in-the-hospital-feeling. I grabbed things and flung them into suitcases and yelled again for my kids to get out! No one answered and I redoubled my efforts. Piles of laundry gave… Read more“The Blood and the PTSD”
Category: Reality
The common theme we discovered in our journeys was the feeling of drowning. New schedules, new vocabulary, new setting–the sensory overload seemed to push our heads just below water.
A Different Kind of Caregiving
Outdoor School Present I watch as the sky turns from city glow to deep blue. None of the students stir, and traffic flows by like a roaring river (even this early). Finally the clouds behind the campsite change from vague shadows to glorious pink. In the quiet of the morning,… Read more“A Different Kind of Caregiving”
Expectations Can Make All the Difference
It was one of those mornings where expectations of an normal chemo treatment were obliterated – everything that could go wrong, was going from bad to worse! We had arrived on time for four-year-old Andrew’s chemotherapy, but the nurse hadn’t. When she finally arrived, the doctor wasn’t there yet, neither was… Read more“Expectations Can Make All the Difference”
Answers Before I Call
Pedro’s cancer relapsed one month after he went into remission—he went from a healthy-looking sick guy to a walking skeleton in three short weeks. The day a bed on University of California, San Francisco’s cancer ward opened up, Pedro’s wedding ring fell off when he stood up. After a series… Read more“Answers Before I Call”
Who Knew What These Hands Could Do?
I’m joining Lisa-Jo Baker and friends for another Five-Minute Friday exercise in writing and bravery. This week’s prompt? Hands. Who could’ve ever guessed what my hands would be called upon to do? Who could have ever imagined what they could be capable of doing? My greatest fear, as a parent,… Read more“Who Knew What These Hands Could Do?”
Too Close for Comfort in the ICU
Don’t Wait for an ICU Visit I leaned in close as Pedro struggled to form words around the tubes sprouting out of his nose and mouth. His hands, retained by cotton cuffs, fluttered uselessly at his sides. His left hand stilled and his right hand looked as if it was… Read more“Too Close for Comfort in the ICU”
Firsts You Never Wanted
Have you ever been part of a prayer chain and you get a call, or an email, and you think, “Oh my, that poor, poor family. That’s awful!” Have you ever heard a little blurb on the news, and felt a stab of pity for what someone else’s trials? Have… Read more“Firsts You Never Wanted”
Purple T-Shirts and Folgers Make Me Cry
Purple Tears I don’t cry pretty. When my eyes leak, snot immediately oozes from my nose in sudden sympathy and I’m mess within seconds. Which explains why I had to turn the vehicle off onto a side road that crisp Saturday morning whilst driving down the Silverado Trail in Napa,… Read more“Purple T-Shirts and Folgers Make Me Cry”
Tub Thumping (Theme Songs in the Cancer Ward)
“I get knocked down, but I get up again!” Chumbawamba’s lyrics pounded out of the tinny CD speakers as the doctor came by on rounds. Pedro played the song after every round of ravaging chemo as a litmus test for hospital personnel. If they smiled, they were the good kind… Read more“Tub Thumping (Theme Songs in the Cancer Ward)”
What’s Love Got to Do With It?
Well, okay, maybe my children aren’t perfect. Maybe they fight and argue, and maybe when Karina confessed to pinching Andrew when asked why he had those bruises, I believed her! Poor thing, we didn’t know the bruises were actually from cancer. Both girls were there when Andrew cried bloody tears,… Read more“What’s Love Got to Do With It?”
