It’s Not About the Wise Men – It’s Just a Simple Gift

- from shared wisdom gleaned from experience

It’s not about being wise – it’s just about sharing the journey

It’s not about the wise men, this Christmas.

Our gift to you comes from two ladies who consider ourselves anything but wise.  In fact, our story started with the words, “Don’t you wish you would have known…?” and continued with a resounding, “Oh, wow…yes!  I wish someone could have prepared me for…!”

Because there is no way to know what you’re going to need when a loved one’s life hangs in the balance.  There is no preparation you can do for administering dangerous chemicals to your child.  No studying prepares you to learn to let go of your loved one while at the same time fighting harder than your own life to help them with theirs (and that phrase makes sense if you’ve been there).  Nothing takes your breath away like hearing those diagnostic words declaring the battle plans you didn’t even know existed.

When your loved one is diagnosed, your life changes as much as theirs.

But the treatments are for them.  The medicine is for the patient.  The financial help is for the recipient.  Support staff, books, hospital rooms – everything is geared toward helping your loved one survive that catastrophic, life-changing illness.  Just like you want it to be!

Anita and I have said to each other, repeatedly, there isn’t much we’d change, looking back over the treatment for her husband and my boy.  We’d still fight the battles, maintain the home, fight for the rights of our patient.

There’s not much we’d change in the care we gave…

But boy could we have treated ourselves better in the process!

Maybe we could have understood, a little better, what the nurses said when they sympathetically clucked, “Now, you must take care of yourself too.”  What if we had accepted more offers of help?  Maybe we should not have buried our worries, fought the insurance companies all by ourselves or eaten whatever we could grab in between treatments?

What if we could have known?

Our gift, we pray, is that others can learn what our life-of-care-giving has taught us.  One step at a time.

Our gift, this Christmas, is a free book for you.  It’s not gold, frankincense or myrrh from the Wise Men – it’s just some stories and advice from two ladies who’ve been there.

Subcribe below or beside (depending upon your browser) and receive a free book pictured on this page!

Merry Christmas!

Our gift, this #Christmas, is a free book for you. It's not gold, frankincense or myrrh from the Wise Men - it's just some stories and advice from two #caregivers who've been there. Click To Tweet

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  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Carol, this is so true, and something I try to get across to Barbara every day…that going to the wall won’t make much difference for me, but it wears her out.

    God be praised, she’s coming around to this! Cultural inculcation of sacrifice as virtue is hard to overcome.

    Merry Christmas to you and yours!

    https://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/12/your-dying-spouse-432-caregiver.html

    • Thank you Andrew. It is really hard to see, as a caregiver, how you can possibly give up anything at all. Except in hindsight. Then I moan and wonder what I was thinking – superwoman is a myth! Here’s praying that our hindsight can improve others’ vision! 🙂

  • No post to share this week, but I just wanted to say that you for your ministry here!

    • Bless you Barbara. What a sweet thing to read this morning!