Self-Care for Caregivers Involves Learning How to Breathe

breatheSelf-Care for Caregivers Involves Learning How to Breathe

To breathe or not to breathe, this is the question. I know, we all breathe, all the time; otherwise, we would be dead. But did you know that HOW we breathe plays a huge role in our health?

During Pedro’s cancer year, I forgot how to breathe. It took me several years after his stem-cell transplant to actually learn how to breathe again. Unfortunately, my health (both mental and physical) suffered greatly during my years of forgetting how to breathe.

Fear and pain cause shallow breathing—our bodies naturally respond to threats by changes in breathing patterns. The problem occurs when we find ourselves in a constant state of stress—which disrupts our normal breathing.

According to Alan Fogel, Ph.d., in an online article for Psychology Today, “Chronic breath holding and effortful breathing are not healthy because the muscular effort, coupled with the effects of stress on the nervous, hormonal, and immune systems, can impair both physical and psychological function.”

Caregivers can live in a constant state of fright, flight, or freeze. When I thought Pedro might die any given day, I struggled to assure our children that everything would be ok (regardless of the outcome). I struggled to assure myself that things would get better. Seeing a doctor walk out of Pedro’s room (or into it) at an unscheduled time sent my heart racing.

If I would have known more about the importance of the way that I breathed, I could have avoided a lot of pain and agony later on—when all those months of bad breathing turned into a bad habit that chiseled away at my health.

So, if you care for someone, the number one thing you can do for yourself involves learning how to breathe.

Four Steps to Healthy Breathing

1. Remember the numbers. Four-seven-eight. 4-7-8. Breathe in for four seconds. Hold it for seven seconds. Breathe out for eight seconds.Rescue breathing for #caregivers.
2. Breathe in through your nose. If you feel like you suffer from chemo-brain by proxy, it probably means you suffer from stress. To regain your ability to remember things, breathe in through your nose when you want to remember something. Scientists recently discovered that breathing in through the nose enhances memory.
3. Breathe to fall asleep. If you struggle with insomnia, try the 4-7-8 breathing technique as you lie in bed at night.
4. Exercise hard on a regular basis. According to the Mayo Clinic, regular aerobic exercise can ward off viral illnesses, reduce your health risks, and keep excess pounds at bay.

Keeping pounds off is vital for caregivers because caregiving takes a big enough toll on our mental health without having to deal with weight gain. Aerobic exercise doesn’t mean you have to join an aerobic dance class (thank goodness—I have two left feet).

Simply engage your large muscle groups, make sure your heart rate increases, and your feel your body start breathing more deeply. I finally purchased a fitness tracker to keep me honest about my effort. You can do this by walking briskly, climbing flights of stairs, running, bicycling, or dancing like a crazy person in your living room.

What other ways have you discovered to relieve caregiver stress?

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Anita currently teaches English to 7th-12th graders. She describes herself as a ‘recovering cancer caregiver’ who gives thanks daily that her husband has been cancer-free for ten years.

Please note: We reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Tara Ulrich

    Such an important reminder for us all. I’m over in the 6 spot this week.

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Anita, this is TERRIFIC! Knowing how to breathe is one of the key points on which I refute my doctor’s argument that I should have been dead four years ago.

  • Lovely, I like the breathing 4-7-8 seconds 😄
    Thank you for all the suggestions.
    God bless

  • Thanks so much for this reminder, Anita. We were thinking along the same lines, I think. 🙂 Blessings to you! 🙂

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  • Thanks for explaining this, Anita. I used to get exasperated with statements like “Breathe!” or “Don’t forget to breathe!”, thinking, “Well, duh, if I wasn’t breathing I’d be dead. Who has to be reminded to breathe?” But this makes sense. I’ve had some experience with anxiety attacks and have discovered that slow breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth are very helpful, but I wasn’t familiar with the 4-7-8 technique. I’ll try it!

  • Dana

    Hi! Stopping by from #FMF. Your post is so encouraging. Love it.

  • After my Mom and Grandma died in the same year, my Dad had a blood clot in his leg and was in the hospital. I grew to hate hearing phone ring! It took me years to not hold my breath when that happened. Breathing is kinda important, so we need these tips!

  • Karen

    Such a good practical exercise. I have trouble sleeping and am going to try this method asap. And I’m going to share this with my mom who is a full time caregiver to my dad. Sometimes the most basic things… like breathing… can be such a boost to helping us cope and thrive. thanks!

  • such common sense, wise advice here, Anita. breathing deep, breathing slow is a major key in dealing with stress, anxiety, fear. super post, friend …