Screaming – Five Tips for NOT Screaming

When you feel like you really need to!

While tempting, screaming seldom solves anything.

“Get out of my way!” I screamed at the driver who cut me off. “Where could you possibly have to go that’s more important than me taking my son to the ER?”

“I don’t have time for this!” I screamed in my classroom at the mountain of papers the substitute had piled up for me to grade.

“You can’t have him, we’re busy!” I screamed at the people wanting to talk to my husband about stupid mundane problems at school. “Can’t you see my son is hurting?  Who cares about your trifling issues?”

“Don’t talk to me about your over-active son’s problems!” I screamed at the couple in the elevator. “My son used to be active, but now he might not even live!”

“Don’t joke about me ‘moving in’ when you see me carrying a suitcase into the hospital!” I screamed at the janitor. “This has become my life overnight, and it’s NOT a joke!”

“How can you all keep going on as though nothing is happening?”  I screamed at the world.

“How can you go snowboarding when my son is fighting so hard to live?  Why do you go shopping when my son is being poked over and over?  Why are you renting movies and cracking jokes when my son is in so much pain?  How can you go to school when my son is going through torture?”

I screamed at everyone!

My son. My only son. Fighting for his life while the world keeps going. My precious, precious son.

Wait a minute.

God’s son. His only son. His precious, precious son.

Does God want to scream at us?  “How can you keep going?  How can you keep doing those mundane useless things?  Don’t you realize my son was tortured, poked and suffering?  My only son?!”

But that’s not the kind of God He is. He doesn’t scream at people, just like I wasn’t really screaming at anyone. But I wanted to.

I wonder if God ever wants to scream.

Five things to do when you feel like screaming (but can’t):

  1. Breathe deeply from your diaphragm.  Seriously, it sounds too simple to be real, but breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth can change your mindset.
  2. Vent to a journal.
  3. Pray—if all you can say is, “Dear God!” it’s okay. He understands the groaning of our heart (Romans 8:26-28).
  4. Praise God—it sounds counter-intuitive, but praise wins over rage, every time.
  5. Phone a friend (a safe friend) and ask if you can vent out loud.
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  • Screaming doesn’t help!!! Your hormonal balance goes crazy and one could get sick. I don’t like screaming but I’m learning the ropes 😂😂
    Thank you for the tips.
    Funny thoughts here…I always remind myself that I don’t want to grow into a yelling grandma….It helps me a whole lot….

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  • Wow, this is powerful. Carol. I’m not a screamer, I am an inward seether, but that’s just as harmful. The breathing thing really does work right away, and the other things help long term. Thanks for sharing.

  • Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Great post, Carol. Raw, transparent, and giving from your pain.

    Screaming may not be bad, at least for some. U Thant, a former head of the UN, was famous for being imperturbable, but his blood pressure was extremely high, and that eventually killed him.

  • Amanda

    So good I need to remember these 5 tips when I start to have anger build up in me.

  • JeanneTakenaka

    Anita, I’ve had those feelings of needing to yell, too. Your tips are spot on. It seems like the urge to scream often is provoked by overwhelming stress in a life. Thanks for the reminder, especially to praise God when I most want to scream. Counter-intuitive? Yes. Peace-inducing? Definitely. Great post, friend!