On Becoming Weary

Almost two years ago (March 2) I started on a new life-regimen.  I found out a long list of allergies to foods and cut them all out of my diet.  Completely.  Cold turkey.  No sugar.  No gluten.  No soy.  No dairy.  And those are just the major things on the list.  The list is lo-o-o-o-ng (the doctor flinched when looking over my list before handing it to me).  I was determined – sick of feeling sick and tired of feeling tired.  So I ate exactly the way I was supposed to eat.  I lasted over a year.  I stuck to it.  I lost almost 30 pounds and felt a return of energy.

This last summer, because of some losses, we did a lot of traveling and taking care of family estates.  During that travel, I let myself use the excuse of eating M&Ms to keep myself awake while driving 30 hours across country.

I’m not sure what’s happened, but the trip has long been over, and I’m still eating M&Ms.  I don’t feel too great and we won’t talk about weight gain.  But see, I can always provide myself a reason.  Things have been rough.  Extra stress at work, extra work with my kids, extra loneliness or bad weather.  Who knows.  I can give myself a list of excuses to not stick to what makes me feel better – not right this moment, but in the long run.

Let’s face it.  My reasons might be valid – my reasons to self-indulge.  I DO have stress and work hard and blah, blah, blah.  So I have issues.  Who doesn’t?  Do any of you reading this not have issues you have to deal with?  If so, please write me immediately and let me know who you are and what kind of magic you possess that allows you to live free of the curse of sin surrounding you.

In my weakness and weird determination to ‘self-medicate’, I’ve been making myself worse.  How stupid.  How weak.  How pathetic.  How typical.  Anyone with me?

I had a tough moment recently, and my middle child (okay, she’s an adult now, having recently turned 18, but I still consider her my child), texted me this verse:   “ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Gal. 6:9).

I’ve read it before.  But my child gave this to me because I needed it and that left quite the impression and while feeling a bit sorry for myself this week, I’ve also reached a determination.  When I want to quit work, or quit being social, or quit eating right, or quit trying to be nice to rude people – I want this verse emblazoned on my soul.

To make this real and easy to talk about, I’ve used M&Ms.  They’re not a sin, y’all!  I used chocolate because it’s my go-to thing.  But really it’s the issue of just plain not doing what is right for me.  Not listening to advice or doing what God asks of us.  That’s the big picture.

Selfish me wants to feel better right now, to be noticed, to feel rewarded or recognized.  I want to be understood.  But God says this, “AT THE PROPER TIME”.  I want things now, but God has a proper time.  I have to trust.  I have to keep doing what is right and not tire of it because I have to remember that God will make everything right in the end.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” #inspirememonday via @caregivermom Click To Tweet

 

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