Care glanced anxiously at the sky as the thunderheads built up and menaced the airspace surrounding the airport.  Pedro HAD to make it on the air ambulance flight.  If he didn’t, I feared the hospital bed awaiting him at the University of California Medical Center in San Francisco (UCSF) would go to another patient.

It had taken a miracle to get him accepted to their hematology and oncology ward, and I didn’t want to let it slip through our fingers.

Even more, I feared that if we waited just one more day we would never make it.  He looked like a skeleton or an extra from Schindler’s List. The muscles in his face no longer worked, so in order to eat he had to use his hands to manipulate his cheeks and push the food between his cheeks.

Most of what he ate didn’t stay down long enough to provide nutrition.  No wonder he weighed 130 lbs.  It seemed as if he threw up within thirty minutes of eating.  Every. Single. Time.  I worried that some other yet-to-be identified problem lurked in his body.

I’d said my goodbyes to the girls the night before, and I only need to purchase a few toiletries and a pair of shoes before heading to San Francisco.  The hospital had arranged for our flight, but they’d had to postpone it a few hours once already due to severe weather.

My list of anxieties grew.  We’d be leaving our two young daughters at home with my parents for who knew how long.  Our daughters needed us during this scary time–being a thousand miles away from them scared me and worried me and squeezed my mommy heart.

Where would I stay once I arrived at UCSF?  How much was this going to cost us?  Would they have the cure for Pedro’s cancer?  I felt the tension grabbing my shoulder blades and hunching them together over the steering wheel.  I glanced down at my speedometer and jumped my foot off the accelerator.  I didn’t need a ticket to add to my worries.

Hail started to pound as I left the mall parking lot.  Had I remembered to leave a spare set of keys with my parents so they could pick my car up from the hospital parking lot? I struggled to find a parking place and remember where I’d parked so I could tell my folks.

When I stumbled into Pedro hospital room, a cheerful nurse exclaimed, “You’re just in time!  We’re preparing him for transport and your plane leaves in a hour.”

The stress threatened to choke me.  We were really on our way to the big city.  I launched a prayer heavenward.  I felt like I’d fall apart if we left and I’d fall apart if we didn’t.  I silently dished out my list of cares and worries in short little bursts of incoherent prayer as I calmly smiled at Pedro and helped him finish his supper.  Now if only he could keep it down. He HAD to stop losing weight.

Within an hour we had arrived at the airport and met the captain and the nurse who would administer morphine during the flight.  The rain had stopped and we made it to the plane without incident.

I realized that I’d started breathing again.  God did it!  He arranged everything in his perfect time  As the plane lifted into the air, Pedro said, “Its the Zofran!”

“What?” The nurse and I looked at him quizzically.

“That’s the medicine that keeps you from throwing up, isn’t it?” I asked him.  The nurse nodded.

“It makes me barf.” Pedro insisted.  “Every time I take it, I barf 30 minutes later.”

“I’ll add that to your chart,” the nurse said with a smile.  “I never would have thought of that.” She shrugged and scribbled.

I smiled and took another deep breath as I looked out the window.  The dying sun split the clouds with golden light, and the sliver of a rainbow peeked out from behind the clouds.  I’d cast my anxieties on my Heavenly Father, and he answered with a mystery solved and a rainbow to boot. (tweet this)

How have you  cast your anxieties on God?  

Find more caregiver comfort here.


Anita currently teaches English to 7th-12th graders. She describes herself as a ‘recovering cancer caregiver’ who gives thanks daily that her husband has been cancer-free for ten years.

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  • Your story just made me smile… answered with a mystery solved and a rainbow to boot! 🙂

    Isn’t God good… all the time!??
    richelle @ our wright-ing pad recently posted…walK with THE Wise ~ O be careful… ~My Profile

    • Amen! He certainly is! Thanks for stopping by, Richelle!

  • I love the way you tell your stories! Thank you for this! Passing this on to a friend that needs to read this tonight! Perfect timing!!
    Bethany Boring recently posted…“Care”: 5 Minute FridayMy Profile

    • Aw, thanks, Bethany! And thank you for passing the story on to a fellow traveler :).

  • wow. what a time of faith for you. i don’t doubt the zofran..i can’t take that stuff either. If this is a current story unfolding now, I hope all is well and he is making a come back. Sound like you had to be a whole lot of brave
    Somer recently posted…Five Minute Fridays : Care PackagesMy Profile

    • Oh! I’m so sorry that Zofran doesn’t work for you–I can chuckle (now) about the drug, because it was designed specifically to help chemo patients. Are you currently fighting cancer? Pedro was miraculously spared, and he’s been cancer-free for eleven years now. I write in the hopes that my caregiver journey will help other caregivers as they travel through their season of caregiving.

  • Wow! I was just pulled into your story! Are you continuing this? I would love to read more!

    Thank you for these words!
    Rachel Quigley recently posted…My Kitchen Sink – FlyLady Ready? – #FMFMy Profile

  • You are a beautiful writer! Good job!

  • I just love hearing your story. I only wish we were sitting across the table from one another for you to be sharing it with me.
    Amy P Boyd recently posted…Care {Five-Minute Friday}My Profile

  • You have SUCH a gift! Loved this peek into your life. Thanks for sharing this journey with us. Loved it!
    Karen Brown recently posted…CareMy Profile

  • What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing this with us, and for reminding us to cast our anxieties towards God. I’m not always so good at that.
    Melissa Boles recently posted…Fighting ResistanceMy Profile

  • I cast my anxieties on God through prayer and speaking scripture out loud. My struggle is making it my first response instead of my second or third response!! Praising God for your sweet, 11-year miracle. My hubs is 3+ years cancer free and we celebrate all the time!!! God bless you guys!!!! I am going to work on joining you for Inspire Me Mondays – if not during our 31 day journey than afterwards for sure!!!

    • 🙂 One of the verses I repeat to myself when I panic is “Perfect love casts out all fear.” (1 John 4:18). I know he loves me perfectly, so I trust him to drive out my fears. I’m so glad your husband is cancer-free! Celebrating with you, my friend!

  • This is so brave and beautiful. What an amazing testimony.
    Erin recently posted…10: Hearing God in the Midst of the CriticsMy Profile