I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend when I started hanging out with Randy. But he was so amazing; calm, steady, logical, Christian, smart and fun. Somewhere through the year we were studying abroad in Spain, we became a little more than friends. In 1988 we vowed to stay together in sickness and in health until death parted us. We said it while holding hands and gazing into each other’s innocent eyes and without a clue what life was going to throw our way.
The first years of our marriage we made plans, saved money and worked hard all while traveling, teaching and hanging out with great friends. We committed our lives to each other and to God, excited to see where He would lead us.
And lead us He has. But not always down the paths I would have chosen nor following our own master plan. Many twists and turns have come our way and sometimes I wonder if Randy doesn’t feel cheated. The wife he married has become less laid-back (ok, an occasional control freak), overweight, and not nearly so ready to try anything. I worry and stress and then counsel (and adamantly believe) that we need to let God handle things. I get up in the middle of the night to write about things that worry me and grump about working at the half-time job we practically begged God to provide for me. I’m a loving mother, it’s true. But I’m certainly not a perfect one. I’ve yelled at our kids, my house isn’t spotless (shh, don’t tell my mother) and I’m tired more often than not. I’m living in denial that I’m middle aged (but unless I live to be more than 96, I’ve already passed it) and I still struggle with PTSD issues left over from our son’s fight with leukemia.
But Randy’s still here. He’s still calm, steady, logical, Christian, smart and fun. He holds me when I cry and he smiles when I laugh. He reads what I write and encourages me to be brave enough to share it with others. He tells me that I’m a good teacher and on those days that are rough (What? Kids don’t’ always WANT to learn Spanish?) gently reminds me that when I look back on this year, it will have been a great one, like always. He plays ball with our kids and cleans up the kitchen when I’ve had enough. He calls his mother to let her know she’s not alone and tells me that when I really do go blind (when I’m panicking at the eye doctor’s office) he will be there to make sure that the hairs that all old ladies get will be plucked from my chin even if I can’t see them (OK, I TOLD you I wasn’t always rational – and yes, he actually said that with a straight face). He prays for me and relaxes with me and loves our kids with his whole heart. So while the paths are not of my choosing, our current route is exactly where I want to be.
I don’t write about my husband a lot, because he’s not a guy that likes to draw attention to himself.
But today’s FMF prompt was together. And after 25 years together, what else could I do?
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