Together

Family pictures 065 Together.
It’s an automatic response. When I see the word “together” I think of my husband – Randy.

I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend when I started hanging out with Randy. But he was so amazing; calm, steady, logical, Christian, smart and fun. Somewhere through the year we were studying abroad in Spain, we became a little more than friends. In 1988 we vowed to stay together in sickness and in health until death parted us. We said it while holding hands and gazing into each other’s innocent eyes and without a clue what life was going to throw our way.

The first years of our marriage we made plans, saved money and worked hard all while traveling, teaching and hanging out with great friends. We committed our lives to each other and to God, excited to see where He would lead us.

And lead us He has. But not always down the paths I would have chosen nor following our own master plan. Many twists and turns have come our way and sometimes I wonder if Randy doesn’t feel cheated. The wife he married has become less laid-back (ok, an occasional control freak), overweight, and not nearly so ready to try anything. I worry and stress and then counsel (and adamantly believe) that we need to let God handle things. I get up in the middle of the night to write about things that worry me and grump about working at the half-time job we practically begged God to provide for me. I’m a loving mother, it’s true. But I’m certainly not a perfect one. I’ve yelled at our kids, my house isn’t spotless (shh, don’t tell my mother) and I’m tired more often than not. I’m living in denial that I’m middle aged (but unless I live to be more than 96, I’ve already passed it) and I still struggle with PTSD issues left over from our son’s fight with leukemia.

But Randy’s still here. He’s still calm, steady, logical, Christian, smart and fun. He holds me when I cry and he smiles when I laugh. He reads what I write and encourages me to be brave enough to share it with others. He tells me that I’m a good teacher and on those days that are rough (What? Kids don’t’ always WANT to learn Spanish?) gently reminds me that when I look back on this year, it will have been a great one, like always. He plays ball with our kids and cleans up the kitchen when I’ve had enough. He calls his mother to let her know she’s not alone and tells me that when I really do go blind (when I’m panicking at the eye doctor’s office) he will be there to make sure that the hairs that all old ladies get will be plucked from my chin even if I can’t see them (OK, I TOLD you I wasn’t always rational – and yes, he actually said that with a straight face). He prays for me and relaxes with me and loves our kids with his whole heart. So while the paths are not of my choosing, our current route is exactly where I want to be.

I don’t write about my husband a lot, because he’s not a guy that likes to draw attention to himself.

But today’s FMF prompt was together. And after 25 years together, what else could I do?
I’m joining up with Lisa Jo Baker and the Five-Minute Friday group.  Click on the icon to see how you can join the fun.
Five Minute Friday

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  • I sometimes wonder the exact same thing. Mothering and the passage of time has changed me, for sure. After being married for 14 years, I hardly recognize myself.

  • Exactly! We just pray some of the changes are good things!

  • Luzi Hedmann

    I love what you wrote Carol! All of it.
    I thought I was a little crazy when I realized I had PTSD after my health issues. I can’t go into the operating suites- it actually is part of my job. Thank God for my understanding coworkers who step in for me.

    • Thank you Luzi. Part of why I feel driven to write is for those of us who felt so alone but are actually part of a huge crowd that walks around in masks of independence and capability! 🙂 I praise God for your healing and continue to pray for the healing in our souls!

  • Love it! Hope to have a similar story soon of our own. This was so sweet!