Last and Last

Some days, I feel like a hummingbird trying to keep my world together on one tail feather.

Some days, I feel like a hummingbird trying to keep my world together on one tail feather.

Last and Last. Same word, two meanings. Someone once said “Dead last is greater than ‘did not finish,’ which trumps ‘did not start.'”

How often do I not start something because I am afraid that I’ll come in last–that my efforts won’t be ‘good enough’ (or at least as good as So-And-So’s) or that I won’t have the endurance to last through the long haul? I let petty fears and worries prevent me from taking the first step in a long journey, and fritter my time away on small achievements that lead to nothing big.

I worry too much, forgetting that my Father has promised to give me endurance to finish tasks and a blessing for not stepping on everyone else to come in first.

And I forget–oh, how I forget, that he promises to lift us up when we’re in the midst of our tumultuous times. How could I forget the near-death experiences and the last-minute miracles in Pedro’s life? God is near. He seeks us and waits patiently for us to turn to him so he can lift us with his mighty hand.

And so I learn (sometimes at a snail’s pace), to savor the moments in the midst of tumult when I feel as if I can last forever because God is near. I learn to watch creation for signs of God’s love and sense of humor (how DOES a hummingbird operate with just one tail feather?) and the lessons he wants me to learn.

And I remember that we were made to last, to be with him forever. Coming in first or last doesn’t matter. 

There's no need to waste my energy comparing myself to others. God has my back--and starting is what matters. Click To Tweet

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Anita currently teaches English to 7th-12th graders. She describes herself as a 'recovering cancer caregiver' who gives thanks daily that her husband has been cancer-free for ten years.

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