Last and Last

Some days, I feel like a hummingbird trying to keep my world together on one tail feather.

Some days, I feel like a hummingbird trying to keep my world together on one tail feather.

Last and Last. Same word, two meanings. Someone once said “Dead last is greater than ‘did not finish,’ which trumps ‘did not start.'”

How often do I not start something because I am afraid that I’ll come in last–that my efforts won’t be ‘good enough’ (or at least as good as So-And-So’s) or that I won’t have the endurance to last through the long haul? I let petty fears and worries prevent me from taking the first step in a long journey, and fritter my time away on small achievements that lead to nothing big.

I worry too much, forgetting that my Father has promised to give me endurance to finish tasks and a blessing for not stepping on everyone else to come in first.

And I forget–oh, how I forget, that he promises to lift us up when we’re in the midst of our tumultuous times. How could I forget the near-death experiences and the last-minute miracles in Pedro’s life? God is near. He seeks us and waits patiently for us to turn to him so he can lift us with his mighty hand.

And so I learn (sometimes at a snail’s pace), to savor the moments in the midst of tumult when I feel as if I can last forever because God is near. I learn to watch creation for signs of God’s love and sense of humor (how DOES a hummingbird operate with just one tail feather?) and the lessons he wants me to learn.

And I remember that we were made to last, to be with him forever. Coming in first or last doesn’t matter. 

There's no need to waste my energy comparing myself to others. God has my back--and starting is… Click To Tweet

Anita currently teaches English to 7th-12th graders. She describes herself as a ‘recovering cancer caregiver’ who gives thanks daily that her husband has been cancer-free for ten years.

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  • God really does hold us up in the storm. I am so glad I have met you and read your story. I pray for you today blessings upon blessings.

    • Anita Ojeda

      Thank you for your kind words, Mary! And thank you for your prayers–one can never have too many prayers lifted to the Father on their behalf :).

  • Tara

    So true!! I needed this reminder today friend!!

    • I’m glad you stopped by :). Have a wonderful week!

  • Nature really does teach us so much – God, the Great Creative Teacher. This was good “then” and it’s good now! #TBT xo
    Susan Shipe recently posted…resurrection seasonMy Profile

    • :). I recently read “The Emperor of all Maladies” and am in awe at the intricate nature of creation.

  • Thank you for the great reminder! Such beautiful meaning you found in that word!

  • I just finished last… I finished Beth Moore’s seven week study on the life of James, the half-brother of Jesus. It took me about 27 weeks. But the timing for some of those later lessons couldn’t have been more perfectly timed. Providence doesn’t keep track of time as man does.
    Wendy recently posted…Host your very own Creative RetreatMy Profile

    • I love the book of James. I also love how it took you a long time to savor it and let it sink in in God’s time :).

  • I agree sometimes starting is the hardest part because of the fear we won’t be good enough, strong enough or whatever is holding us back. But if we never start we will never finish. Even if we finish last we will have made so much more progress than if we had never started at all.
    Amanda recently posted…The Journey Begins: AfghanistanMy Profile

    • Exactly! You’ve started a lot this year–doesn’t it feel delicious?! Who cares what place you came in–you STARTED!